My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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