u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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