Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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