1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
