He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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