Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
