Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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