So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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