He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
