Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
