sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
