I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
