I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
