Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
