Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
