Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
