that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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