Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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