And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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