my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
