You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
