nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
