Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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