I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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