Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
