Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize