someone get that fucking seahorse.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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