Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize