I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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