My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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