drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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