do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
