All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
