dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
