My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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