Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
