So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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