Why are handjobs necessary in class?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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