dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
