He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I could fuck to npr.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
