she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize