so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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