What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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