But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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