I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize