I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
