Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
