As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
