Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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