Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
