I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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