i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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