I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
