I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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