it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
