life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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