adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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