Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
