3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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