the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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