i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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